A couple of years ago I had a difficult time and in this stressful period my body reacted. I got very easy infections of my kidneys and bladder. 4 to 5 times per year I had problems. Sometimes I could cure it with tea, but most of the times I had to take antibiotic to get rid of the infection. Life went on, the stressful period ended, but my sensitivity for kidney and bladder infections stayed. I was very surprised, because till I was 40, I didn’t know what a bladder infection was. I could walk barefoot, sit on cold ground and never had any problems. I had other sensitivities since my early childhood, but not this. When I want to get more clarity, I turn to a colleague who works with constellation and so I did also now. We set up the constellation and it got very quickly clear, there was an element missing in the system. When my colleague added this, I had the association this is representing my father. I have had a close relationship with my father who had passed away a couple of years earlier. He was in his 80s when he died of old age, and what I had totally forgotten was, my father had kidney cancer. When they found out they took out the ill kidney and he lived 10 more healthy years after.
In the dynamic of the constellation, it became clear, my kidneys had taken something over from my father and this was my unconscious way of expressing love and loyalty to him. I had no clue about it – and would have not made any connection whatsoever. In a very simple but powerful ritual, I gave back to my father what didn’t belong to me and I expressed my love and loyalty to him from now on in a different way. The representative of the kidneys expressed immediately a sensation of freedom and the lifting of a burden. This is about 15 years ago and I never had any problems with my kidneys since then AND I walk very much barefoot!!
The Power of Constellation Work
Constellation work is a profound and insightful method that helps reveal hidden family dynamics and entanglements that may unconsciously influence our health, relationships, career, and financial well-being. In many cases, we unknowingly carry burdens that do not belong to us. These entanglements often stem from unresolved traumas, unspoken family loyalties, or systemic imbalances that pass through generations.
Understanding What Belongs to Whom
Family constellations work on the principle that each of us is part of a larger system—our family, ancestors, and the deep connections we share with them. When an ancestor has experienced pain, trauma, or exclusion, later generations may unconsciously carry aspects of this burden, attempting to restore balance in ways that manifest as health issues, self-sabotaging patterns, or difficulties in relationships.
Releasing the Burden: Giving Back What is Not Ours
One of the key insights in constellation work is the distinction between what belongs to us and what we have unknowingly taken on. The love and loyalty we feel toward our family can sometimes lead us to unconsciously carry their pain, believing that by doing so, we are honoring them. But true love and respect do not require us to suffer in their place.
Through constellation work, we can acknowledge these entanglements and release them with gratitude. This is often done through simple yet deeply transformative rituals where we symbolically return what is not ours to its rightful place. This act allows us to step into our own life fully, free from inherited burdens, while still maintaining a loving connection with our ancestors.
Living Your Own Life
Recently, a client asked me: “Do I become less like my family if I live my life with full joy?” In her constellation, we discovered that something was holding her back from fully embracing her path. With process work and a powerful ritual, we released the entanglement, allowing her to step forward with a sense of freedom and authenticity.
Constellations teach us that we can honor our family without carrying their suffering. We can acknowledge our past while fully embracing our own future. By returning what does not belong to us, we become free to live with greater joy, purpose, and personal responsibility.
Constellation work is a gift—an invitation to step into the fullness of who we truly are while honoring where we come from. The clarity, healing, and freedom it brings can be truly life-changing.
